Kosher. Dill.

About 5 years ago my mother of all people  told me a story about a North East land mark that (unfortunately) I will never forget.

Along the North East Sound (as in a body of water) there is a very commonly known road, –this road wraps around the edges of the Sound. There are restaurants, street food vendors a war memorial and a few jetties in this area, –as well as a horizontal strip of parking. This area is best known for Friday night drag racing with the kids and daytime lunch walkers with the neighboring corporate offices nearby.

APPARENTLY This area since the late 70’s has been known to the locals as: PICKLE PARK, and might I add my MOTHER told me about this nickname.  Im not sure how we got on the topic of talking about this area, –but naturally, I asked WHY its called PICKLE PARK.  And the conversation at that point went something like this:

MOM: Pickle Park…you dont know?

ME: Did they have a pickle factory down by there years ago?

MOM: No, Brie.

ME: ????

MOM: Ugggh, Men, primarily gay men, go there to exchange…

ME: (Catching on, Im play dumb now) ???

MOM: Oh Brie-Brie, they go there to have sex, blow jobs, in their cars.

ME: JEEEZZZ MOM! Did you have to go there!

MOM: You were pushing me. (Laughs hysterically).

**

So,  three years later (after Mom told me this story) it turns out I have to pass through PICKLE PARK every morning to work. I do see men with hats sitting in cars with lights on, some do have HRC stickers and rainbow stickers on there cars. And seeing these cars with outwardly gay support stickers I wonder…are they there at 7AM to get a little DIDDLE with the PICKLE  before work? or are they there to watch they sunrise?  Or are they there to catch an AM Burrito from TACO SAM? Seriously when I see these dudes with an idle car I wonder, –yes my mind hits the gutter. Sometimes I have time I do peruse the police blotter to check my suspicions, –Ive yet to see a report of sex in the PICKLE PARK.

ANYWAYSSSSSSSSSS: Today I went to work for a few hours early AM, and what did I see? A blue small sedan spray painted with HUGE white letters scrolled across that read: “WEENIE LICKER!”  I only wish I snapped a pic.

A. Good. Laugh.

Quick. 2.

1. Do not I repeat DO NOT rent/buy/order Duplicity. J, Mich and I rented Duplicity from our local RedBox, only to find the entire movie senseless, and redundant. Julia Roberts and Clive Owen had as much on screen chemistry as McCain and Palin. Terrible. Terribly awkward. The first three minutes of the movie were credit rolling by with background of buildings and cityscapes…with HORRIBLE music. Im a tough movie critic, but GOOD LORD. I admit I did whine and “UGG” loudly and I think I even said (3-4x) WTF is this SHIT! –So we fast forwarded a bit…but it didnt help. We shut the movie off 20 minutes in. I couldnt do it.
2. We bought Winterizing chemicals for our pool. I cant believe it…we are CLOSING the pool this week. The water has dropped 10 degrees and the nights ’round these parts is about 45-50 degrees. Brrr. Its a sad day. I miss summer already. Its 7:45PM and its DARK! Sigh.

Mop. Head.

OK, So I took a brief hiatus.

Recently been working beyond normal, ok, well Brie-adequate-do-able-hours.

On said days where I worked these ungodly hours I dragged my love to bed at ungodly hours (for her), –8:30PM. She was a champ and enthusiastically obliged, even putting toothpaste on my toothbrush (OKOK, she does that anyway, every night! –G-d I love her, Ive got it made huh?).

ANYWAY, this weekend proved to hold a lot of excitement due to my lack of functioning the prior week…and by excitement I mean cleaning.

And by cleaning I mean mopping and dusting and purging.

ONE PROBLEM.

Our mop. And no, im not blogging/going down the road of some weird sexual mop-tease,– as insinuated in the cleverly creepy ads by Swiffer (baby come back).

Yeaaaaah, anyway, –you see months ago J and I bought an O’Cedar mop with the swishy head. Not the sponge head (insert Sponge Bob Square Pants jingle in my head)

We thought we were being smart when we bought 6 additional mop heads. Well, months passed and before I knew it, we had gone thru the mop heads. So, we did what every couple would do…we added the mop head refill to our grocery/Wal-Mart/Target list. No prob right?

Whooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea?

SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS

—UGGG, get this shit outta my head.

Well, after 8 different stores we could NOT find the stinkin’ mop head. EIGHT. E-I-G-H-T stores! 8!

We finally, reluctantly, and $15.00 later, bought the damn Vileda mop and a ton of Vileda refills which every store had. –Of course being semi smart we THREW OUT (pay attention here, folks) the O’Cedar, like any person would do right?

Fast forward 6 months. Well, Vileda and O’Cedar had some sort of frikin’ merger and now they DON’T manufacture the Vileda. AND as said above: we THREW OUT the O’Cedar, and ALL that’s available within a 50 mile radius of us are O’Cedars and the Vileda and O’Cedar mop heads are NOT interchangeable… are you still with me here? Did I lose you? if I did lose you: CLUE: MOPS SUCK.

SIGH…

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he

SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS

–DAMMMMIT,

We now have to mop our house–AND have no mop (I refuse to use the spongy kind, they just are nasty to me). I suppose tonight after work we will head to TARGET and buy the O’Cedar. SCREW YOU MOPS!

I do have to say while gallivanting to the 6 other stores the other night to find SAID VILEDA refills we were discussing our disgust and anger in the aisle whilst walking, and a mother with her 2 year old walked passed us and said: I completely agree, it’s a conspiracy, you’re not going crazy.

If nautical nonsense be something you wish

SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS

–Seriously, turning on iPod to get this shit out of my head.

SO, see… we weren’t going crazy. Ok, maybe I am… if I can just get this JINGLE out of my head now…

And. Then. I. Said.

A co-worker last week asked me how Ive dropped a few pounds,–to which I replied: McDonalds Angus Burgers, and Baskin Robins Milkshakes, and Ruffles.

*snicker*

Yes, I can be a real bitch.

Beeeeeeeeee.

Mad. About. It.

If you have to watch new show this year. Make it MAD MEN on AMC.

J and I have started season 1. We’re 3/4 of the way thru it…its entertaining and addicting.

Seriously. Watch it.

Love. This. Site.

OMG

Ummmm.

Crumbs.

J and I were outside doing odds and ends with the pool this evening, when I FORGOT we closed the sliding screen to the deck…WHEN I walked freaking into it.

Yes, into the screen door.

OUCH!

Now my nose is throbbing, you know that really uber pleasant feeling you get when youre smacked in the face. Mmm, yeah.

In other news:

Ive been going into work all week @ 6:30 AM and tomorrow is no exception, Ill be at 5:30AM, Im really behind in work, we have a few folks out on vacation and its FUCKING NUTS BALLS TO THE WALL BUSY! Hey, at least its busy @ work I keep telling myself eh?

To compensate for a horrid week, I indulged in some mighty fine chips and salsa.

Ok, off to bed for a long ass day @ work on a SATURDAY!